Do you have trouble saying NO?

One of the popular bits of advice floating around these days is to say NO more frequently.

You’re heard it. We’re all over-committed. Too much on the schedule, too many demands, too much media, email, and activity. We scramble from one shallow thing to the next like a stone skipping across a pond, reaching the other side but hardly getting wet.

It’s obvious that scurrying through life is no way to live, that we need slower, deeper interactions. I suggest that NO may not be the best place to begin.

Maybe we begin with YES. Maybe we say YES to:

• A God-sized dream we’ve tried to ignore for too long.
• Writing a better story with the gifts God’s given us.
• Investing in deeper, more passionate relationships with God, others, and ourselves.
• Stepping out in faith, taking a risk, trusting God with something that scares us to death.

And you’re thinking that you’re already buried and the very last thing you need is one more big commitment. I’d suggest that may be precisely what you need. Once you choose (and it is a choice) what you absolutely must do, the things to which you need to say NO become clearer.

I don’t know what that might be for you. I’ve experienced a few of these YES moments in the past decade or so: Writing a book, changing careers, doing RICH’S RIDE. In each case, one YES precipitated a bunch of obvious NO’s. If you’re serious about something important, you’d better count the cost first because you’ll likely have to let go of some important stuff.

And perhaps that’s the best way to discover the necessary NO’s. Even a request that feels important requires a NO when it diverts you from an essential YES. It’s one function of my three key words for 2011: ride, book, and workshop. Before I tackle anything big I measure it against those three words. If it doesn’t fit, perhaps it needs to be a NO.

I’m finding that positive commitments and positive habits are much easier to keep. They fill space with good stuff, leave a bit less space for bad stuff, and make it easier to know when to say NO.

What’s your take? Any similar experiences? What might you need to say YES to?

Please leave a comment.

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